Table For One

One mission for my time being single is to be really comfortable being alone. Even when I had a long-term boyfriend I was able to work on this and enjoy my own company because we were long distance for several years of our relationship. I’ve always felt pretty secure going places by myself but since I am an extrovert I love spending my time with people — I just also realize it’s not realistic or healthy filling all of my time being surrounded by loved ones.

Anyway, I’ve been planning fun dates by myself lately and am excited to share stories from several of them.

I’ll start with my date in New York.

When I went to the city with my mom she had some business to take care of, so I was on my own for a day. It was nice being back in the city; one of my favorite things about living there was just exploring new places all by myself. New York is a fantastic place to be single. There is so much to do and are so many fun people you meet along the way through all of your solo adventures.

I decided to begin my day by going to a fancy restaurant alone. This has been one of the goofier things on my bucket list, but why not cross it off while I’m in the greatest city on earth? I found a restaurant right next to The Plaza that was overlooking Central Park.

One of the waiters immediately greeted me and asked, “How many for brunch?”

I replied, “Just one, thank you.”

Maybe I was imagining things, but he gave me a kind of funny look as he walked me to a table. He sat me at a 4-top and asked again — just to be sure– “Will someone be meeting you here?” To which I replied, “No.”

I kid you not this happened five times. I didn’t keep my phone out, as I wanted to truly enjoy a dinner date by myself, but I kept a mental tally of how many people seemed shocked I was dining alone. It reminded me of this clip from Impractical Jokers:

Other than being bullied about not having any friends to go out to eat with, my solo date was really nice! I splurged and treated myself to a bunch of my favorite breakfast foods, and enjoyed people-watching by myself. I had such a nice time, in fact, that I am going to continue taking myself on little dates every once in awhile. I would highly recommend a date with yourself to kind of recharge at the end of a busy work week.

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Or if you don’t think of yourself as good company, I would also highly recommend myself as a date. Feel free to buy me brunch anytime and exchange for feeding me I will give good company and embarrassing stories to tell for years!

Today’s lesson: The biggest perk of being your own date is being able to eat as much as you want and not have to worry about someone else getting “food envy” when you order what is clearly the best thing on the menu. Like, seriously, people need to back off. #hangry

The Walk Of Shame

One thing I have mentioned time and time again is how POTS has not only affected the way I feel, but it’s also taken a toll on some of my interpersonal interactions.

For example, I’ve told you about my sweaty palms and the way I can’t help but blush when a boy kisses me — but I failed to tell you about how this happens all the freakin’ time whenever I feel the slightest sense of embarrassment, annoyance, or frustration. The other day I ran into one of my high school crushes at Target. Obviously I have no feelings for him whatsoever anymore, but as soon as he mentioned that he was now married my face turned bright red because I am apparently just programmed to be awkward.

Anyway, I went to New York City last weekend to visit some friends and have a girls’ weekend with my mom. The trip was awesome and I will be sharing a few stories on here about it this week, but the first one is hilariously embarrassing.

Before we went to the DC to New York bus stop I gave Megabus a call to make sure they would be stopping once to stretch and use the restroom. Not only do I have to drink a lot of fluids to keep my symptoms at bay, but I also need to walk around regularly to get my circulation going. The person who assisted me on the phone said this wouldn’t be a problem and that we would definitely stop. Thank goodness! I suddenly felt a lot more comfortable about making the big trip to the city.

Things did not go as planned, though. Our bus was 30 minutes late, so the driver said that we would not be stopping. After shuffling up to the front to talk to him, he kindly told me that he would stop if I needed it — I just needed to reach up and press the giant red emergency “STOP” button above my seat. If I needed it? I definitely will! This is so uncomfortable, I thought to myself. I quietly went back to my seat and waited for the giant Smart Waters I had been throwing back to take their course.

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About three hours into our ride I realized I would definitely need to pee and stretch soon, so reached up to the button — then pulled away. What if it makes a loud buzzing sound and everyone looks over? I really hate being high-maintenance, but that ship sailed when I got sick. You kind of have to be to take care of your chronic illness.

So I closed my eyes, reached up, and shoved my index finger into the giant glowing button as I held my breath. It was quiet. Oh good, I thought. The driver must just get a notification at the front. 

But he didn’t. I waited and waited until I realized he wouldn’t be stopping. That’s when I finally went to the front to see if he had seen my cry for help. He was once again very kind and said he would stop at the next rest area.

This is where the story takes a hilarious turn.

He pulled right up to the front of a gas station and shouted, “Alright darlin’, we’re here! Go do your thing.”

Oh my goodness! He’s just stopping for me! I thought that this would be a rest stop for everyone, but apparently I got to walk the red carpet down the bus aisle to go to the bathroom all by myself. I stood up and realized my balance was a bit off from the long ride — POTS does that to me sometimes. I can sometimes have a hard time keeping my balance on solid ground, but it’s even worse when I’ve been cooped up in a car for several hours. I stumbled down the aisle, bumping into a pretty young twentysomething who was just trying to mind her own business and taking out a guy’s knee on the way. I offered a muffled apology as I turned bright red and scampered down the steps.

I felt everyone’s inquisitive eyes on me as I pranced from the bus into the gas station and wondered what they must think of me. This is humiliating! They’re probably coming up with a billion stories in their own minds of why I had to make this huge emergency stop. 

I hurried inside and was back within two minutes. I didn’t take the time I needed to stretch because I didn’t want any false assumptions from me taking forever.

As I walked onto the bus — my face once again matching the red carpet beneath my feet — I realized no one was really paying attention to me. The twentysomething girl glanced up from her laptop, but for the most part people remained preoccupied with their own activities. It was at this moment that I had an overwhelming realization that no one really cared what I was up to and all eyes were, in fact, not on me.

Today’s lesson: People don’t really care what you are doing — so you should just do you and not worry so much about what others think.