Adventures With The Army Part 1

I just had the craziest week.

If you’ve been keeping up with this blog or my Instagram, you surely know all about my crush on the Army man I’ve been seeing. I just happen to think he’s the best, and super-awesome, and am probably making you gag reading this.

I went to his departure ceremony just over a month ago, and we had been chatting long distance for about 5 weeks while he was at Fort Hood (Texas) doing last-minute prep work until it was time for him to head overseas. We said our goodbyes over the phone, and promised to email each other until we could figure out when a good time for both of us to Skype is.

Screen Shot 2016-04-22 at 12.59.54 PM

Our first goodbye at the departure ceremony.

My heart sunk a little as we said goodnight, realizing this was likely the last time I’d hear his voice for awhile.

Then fate intervened.

His plane was crazily delayed due to inclement weather, and he texted me at midnight that he was stuck at BWI airport — their flight’s last stop in the US before going overseas.

That’s right down the road from me, I thought.

My wheels started turning immediately, trying to figure out how I could see him — even just for a few minutes to see him and say goodbye in person. After all, we couldn’t be in the same area and not meet up!

There was a lot of back-and-forth, as his itinerary kept changing.

The next morning I found out that I could see him until the early evening. My only problem was that I was stranded at home without a car. I quickly texted my best friend, and since the word “best” is in her title for a reason, she immediately asked her boss to leave and took a long lunch break to make the hour-and-a-half drive to the airport.

We chatted and had a nice little road trip, and by the time we arrived to the airport my hands were sweaty from excitement. I hopped out of the car, excitedly turned and thanked her profusely, as she told me to have a great day.

I walked through the automatic doors, straight to the gate he had given me, but realized it didn’t exist. I quickly found out that we had just miscommunicated a bit, did a 180, and saw him walking toward me. I don’t remember the last time I felt so excited.

We hurried to each other and embraced in one of the best hugs I have ever had. I think hugs can sometimes be a really intimate form of love — welcome home hugs when you’re in a long distance relationship are one of the warmest feelings in the world.

He smiled at me, and I got lost in his hazel eyes as he asked if I would like to get out of the airport and go out to eat.

That is where our adventure began.

This will be a 3 part post. Come back on Sunday if you’d like to hear about the craziest and most exciting date of my life.

New Music Monday

In my adventures with Audrey* yesterday she introduced me to a new song that she said seemed like perfect lyrics for me — and they sure were! I’ve looked at more of her music and am kind of obsessed with Alessia Cara now. This music video is kind of goofy, but just listen to the lyrics. So. Darn. Catchy!

This is what loving someone after your heart has been broken feels like.

*I have two best friends named Audrey! This time my post is all about my beautiful photographer/blogger/ex pageant queen, but current badass friend.

Everything I Ever Wanted

I’m absolutely amazed at the way my heart has been feeling. As soon as I got out of my last relationship I was excited to take time to myself and then eventually find someone in the area who I could see as often as I’d like. I wasn’t going to be in a long distance relationship anymore, and I would be able to experience what it was like having someone I loved in the same area as me.

Life doesn’t always work out the way you think it will.

Today I teared up because I miss someone in another country. I fell in love far sooner than I would have “liked,” and never in a million years thought I could feel this way about another person.

This long distance has been different than my last relationship, though. He is so perfectly attentive and I don’t feel like we are emotionally apart, even though we can’t see each other or even talk as much as I would like. I miss our dates and playing games together. I miss people-watching and I miss him goofing off to make me laugh.

I think of him every time I see an F-150, and I listen to Brad Paisley in the car now. I carry a piece of his heart everywhere I go, and I feel proud of him when I see an American flag waving in the wind.

I’m focusing on myself and am fully working towards my own personal goals, but I cannot help but be excited for December. I feel like a teenager again with a countdown on my phone and a name scribbled throughout my journal.

This is love in its sweetest form.

dogtag

Today’s lesson: Sometimes love is having all the feelings all at once. Your heart feels like it’s about to burst, but in the best way you could ever imagine.

Catching Fire

He was my hardest goodbye.

Our time together was short, but it felt like we had known each other for a lifetime.

I’m not sure if we’re having an extended honeymoon stage or if he’s just as amazing as I think he is. His light has me captivated and we are burning blindingly bright.

When you’ve been badly burned before you try to stay away from flames. They scare you and you know from experience that although they burn beautifully bright that if you get close enough to touch them they can hurt you. A burn is one of the most painful things your heart can experience — even after it heals parts of it stay numb. You have scars from the fire when it’s all fizzled out and you are suddenly surrounded by darkness. At first the pitch black sensation is claustrophobic and suffocating. After awhile, though, you get used to it. You realize you aren’t as alone as you feel and that everything is going to be alright.

When you finally see a spark fly again it startles you. At first it starts off small and you are intrigued. You get close to the beautiful shimmer and all of a sudden you see it turn to flames. It’s captivating, breathtaking. Before you know it there is another fire burning. You finally realize what you have done. You have trusted this new fire to keep itself in line and not burn you. It’s a huge risk you’re taking, but if it keeps you warm and takes care of you it’s worth it.

You begin cautiously, putting your hands up to the fire to warm them, and quickly soften enough to dance around the flames. You let your guard down. You will either get badly burned or have the most beautiful story of your life. You pray it’s the latter, but in the meantime you throw caution to the wind. Because right now your heart has a warm and comfortable glow. This is falling in love.

Screen Shot 2016-03-18 at 11.39.43 PM

Selfless Selfishness

Today I was talking to my Army man about our dreams and some of my future plans. I mentioned how selfish my last relationship was — everything we did was to make him happy and work toward his goals together. My opinion or desires never mattered. Moving forward I want to be someone’s partner in crime instead of their sidekick.

His reply to this was my favorite. He said, “But babe, we always do what I want to do too! I feel bad now.”

I quickly felt very confused, as he’s always been extremely kind and is one of the most selfless people I know. After a second of thinking I asked, “Huh? What do you mean?”

I heard him smile over the phone as he replied, “I always want to do whatever you want to do.”

My heart is so happy it hurts.

Screen Shot 2016-03-19 at 12.44.58 PM

My Six Word Love Story

I fell in love on accident.

This is my six word love story.

As you all know, I have been dating around for about 7 months now. There is one particular gentleman, though, I can’t seem to shake. He was one of the first guys I went out with, and has just kind of stuck. We really hit it off from day one and I’ve grown more fond of him every day.

This is so ironic because as soon as I was done with my long-term relationship I decided I wanted to take a lot of time to date around and fully enjoy single life. I didn’t in a million years think I’d meet someone so incredibly special so fast.

He’s an army man, possibly the funniest person I’ve ever met, thoughtful, a gentleman, and genuinely selfless. He supports me (Including this blog and my need to be single until I’ve figured out more about what I want in a future relationship), and is loyal and kind. We get each other and are on the same wavelength. My best friend and I have always been able to read each other’s minds, but I’ve never had this kind of relationship with a guy before.

The timing of this is so weird. I have fallen for someone at a time when I wanted to take awhile to be single and casually date around, and he had just decided to stop dating until he got back from his deployment. It’s off for both of us, but we are such a great fit that we aren’t going to let everything fizzle out. We’re going to keep in touch and see where things go when he gets back — and I absolutely cannot wait.

Screen Shot 2016-03-14 at 1.47.45 PM

Buddy the Elf gets it.

In the meantime, I am going to be taking time getting to know myself better and what I want. I’m not giving up my life to a guy like I did with my ex, and I have overwhelming peace that everything is going to fall in place. Although it is early and I want to be careful with my heart, I think this guy and I could have a bright future. Love is scary and vulnerable, but I think it has to be in order to eventually find someone who will be a good fit for you and stick.

Today’s lesson: Love really does come to you when you’re least expecting it. As inconvenient as it seems sometimes I do believe things happen for a reason. I will be writing about this in the near future, but have realized if my ex and I hadn’t broken up at the time we did, I wouldn’t have found this incredible guy I am so crazy about. Timing can really be key, and why waste it with someone who doesn’t make you feel happy and secure in your relationship?

In Sickness And In Health

Although I’m not an expert on many things, I would say having a chronic illness is a subject I’m pretty well versed on now. I’ve been both single and in a long-term relationship with a CI, which isn’t a super-common thing for someone in their twenties.

We never know what the future holds and sadly there is a lot of pain in this world. I could have never in a million years imagined getting a chronic illness at 22 years old, but here I am. It’s still so weird for me to think about. You don’t ever think things like this will happen to you.

Through this crazy journey life is taking me on I’ve realized the enormous difference of someone staying with you through an illness and someone supporting you. Guys, you have no idea how big this is.

bridal

Real life with someone is very different than the glamour and attempted perfection on a wedding day. (This was from a bridal photoshoot I did a few years ago)

When someone stays with you just to be around, you feel alone. You feel like a burden, and it’s not going to help you get any better.

But when someone is there because they want to be and because they are able to put your needs above their own for a period of time, you have a significant other who is giving a genuine and selfless love — and, in turn, you can be there in their time of need.

This, to me, is one of the most beautiful things a person can offer, and it’s something that can’t be faked. Sickness still isn’t easy, but life is a heck of a lot more wonderful when you have someone who will support you when you need a shoulder to lean on. On the other hand, it’s an amazing feeling loving someone enough to want to be able to take away their pain, no matter what that may be. I’ve felt very strongly about a few people that way in my life, and it’s a very genuine and incredible feeling that I can only attribute to the selfless love I am hoping you all get from a partner.

Today’s lesson: There are amazing people in this world who will love you through your trials, whatever they may be. Don’t settle for someone who will just stay. Wait for the person who will hold your hand and be with you every step of the way, no matter where life takes you both.

Kindness Counts

I’m not really a proud person, (Thank God; I get myself into too many embarrassing situations on a regular basis, and wouldn’t be able to be happy if I cared a lot about what others thought about me) but I do pride myself on one thing — always being kind to others.

People love to laugh at others’ expense (I do encourage you to laugh at my expense on here!) or poke fun at people for being different, and we almost always think our way of doing things is best.

God gives us each our own special and unique gifts for a reason, though. If people weren’t vastly different from one another, the world wouldn’t be able to function as a whole. Frankly, what makes us different is often what makes us interesting.

One thing I never, ever want to do is make anyone feel bad about themselves. I don’t want my dates to somehow stumble upon my blog and feel badly about the way they are portrayed — so far everyone has been really nice and treated me well, so they definitely don’t deserve that. If they ever found this I would want them to be able to laugh and enjoy themselves the same way you have so far.

So we are going to change things up and make them a bit more interesting.

First, we are going to get a peek into what it’s like dating me. I probably make the most hilarious date of all, and I definitely have my fair share of embarrassing stories already. Second, we will still be seeing great clips from hilariously relatable dates; we just won’t be getting up close and personal with any individual gentleman. Third, I think we can all relate to the struggles we go through dating in our twenties, so I am excited to give and receive advice from you all.

Here are a few things to look forward to in the next few weeks:

  • The story of me getting friendzoned… Hard.
  • Every girl’s worst nightmare on a date. Seriously, at least 90% of you should be able to guess what this topic will be on.
  • I have some really entertaining interviews set up that I’m really excited to share.
  • Y’all are going to get the opportunity to be a little more involved in my dating life. No, we won’t be pranking my dates, but I have a few different ideas on how you can be a part of this journey with me.

Lastly, I want to thank all of you for your support. I didn’t realize when I set this up that I would have almost 1,000 viewers in the first 24 hours, and the pressure is definitely on to come up with some good material.

love

This is one of my favorite quotes, and if I can have any influence on the way people feel, I want it to be positive.