Ghosted By A Girl

I think I’ve mentioned in the past that I love to play matchmaker; I don’t know why. Part of it is definitely just that I love romance. I am a hopeful romantic, in that I do think that there are beautiful love stories out there, and I would be so happy to help people find one of their own.

The only problem is that I am apparently not very good at it. I don’t know if it’s because I never know the people I am setting up well enough to know their “type,” or if I just don’t have a large enough group of people to pull from. Regardless, I have never helped a match get to a second date.

I recently thought I found the perfect match. I was far more excited than either of the parties involved were, as I thought it might be the start of something great for both of them.

Nope. I was 110% wrong.

They made plans for a date, and went out for brunch. Apparently the guy had a pretty good time, but something went wrong on the other end of things.

Not only did the gentleman I set up get ghosted, but I got ghosted when I asked her how the date went too! Like, how bad of a matchmaker do you have to be to get ghosted by your “clients?”

Today’s lesson: Leave the matchmaking to the professionals. People go to them for a reason… Unless you don’t want to pay anyone, then feel free to ask me to set you up. I’m 0 for 4, but am still totally up for the challenge.

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I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost!

I was right!!!

I know those aren’t unusual words for a female to utter, but this was with a bet I had going with a bunch of other girls.

Remember how I talked about getting ghosted recently?

To recap, I sent my date a text after we hadn’t talked in about two weeks. He and I had a really nice date, and I was kind of confused as to why he wouldn’t want to go on a second one with me.

My only thought was that he did live kind of far away, so maybe that was deterring him from going on another date. But why wouldn’t he just text me and let me know if that was the case?

Some of my friends thought he might have found someone else. Others thought he got the vibe I wasn’t into hooking up, so lost interest. I have really great friends, so none of them suggested that he didn’t like me, which could have also easily been the case. I think that’s what most people who get ghosted feel is the issue, but I am on a mission to prove them wrong.

As I stated in my last post, I don’t think anything has to even go wrong on a date for someone to get ghosted. It could be something you can’t really control, like a lack of chemistry, or your date just has something else going on in his life.

Ready to see what he sent me? Remember, I had to text him first to get this mystery solved. Most people never know why they don’t ever hear from a date again, but I’m willing to bet this is a pretty common reason.

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I really appreciated his honesty. He was a really nice guy, and I’m sure he’ll find his Tinderella somewhere closer to him. I do understand why you wouldn’t want to get too invested in someone you just met who lives so far away, and I respected his answer.

Today’s lesson: Don’t take it personally if someone ghosts you.  It probably isn’t something you did, so just pick yourself up and try again. There are plenty of other fish in the sea!

On the other end of things, instead of ghosting someone, just explain nicely that things just aren’t going to work out. If the person is a normal, mature adult they will understand.

Ghosting Isn’t Very Friendly, Casper.

I have a theory about ghosting.

I don’t think something has to go horribly wrong for someone to get ghosted. I think it’s usually a small, insignificant reason that has nothing to do with the ghosted individual.

I’ve decided to test my theory and put myself out there to try to find out the reason so many twentysomethings just stop getting texts after one, or even several, dates.

Here is what I sent to the first guy who has ever truly ghosted me. Feel free to offer constructive criticism, as I am planning on sending this sort of text to other men who ghost me in the future. Each date is so different that I will probably get a wide range of answers (from anyone brave enough to reply), and will keep y’all posted on what I find out.

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Most of my friends don’t think he’s going to reply. I think he will. What are your thoughts?