It’s late. Everyone is sound asleep and I feel alone. I’m in more pain than usual; you never get used to pain, but do notice when it’s particularly worse.
A lasting ache can take over your body and slowly destroy the healthy things you have left. You begin to lose sleep, which makes it really hard to function during the day and makes the pain even more unbearable.
I’m mad at God.
People say He can take it and I hope that’s true. I hope this doesn’t make Him mad at me. My heart hurts and I feel like God doesn’t care about me anymore. My prayers aren’t working, so I’ve asked other people — more diligent Christians — to pray for me.
My faith has been put to the test and I am failing. I want it back more than anything but I don’t understand why God isn’t healing me, and that is breaking me.
Please pray for me. I want more than anything to feel strong in my faith regardless of what is going on in this world.