Leave Signs Where They Belong

If someone is nice to you, don’t automatically take that as confirmation that they like you. Know someone is into you when they tell you so, rather than gathering a hundred “signs” and making an assumption. Signs are intended to indicate whether or not a ski slope is one you would like to attempt, they are to keep drivers safe on the road, and they are created to make sure people refrain from littering the beach.

beach sign

Now, I know this all sounds so harsh and like I’m not being very sensitive… I can so empathize with those who think someone is into you, only to learn they just have a naturally flirty personality. On the flipside, though, I’ve also had people think that I like them when I’m only trying to be nice or make a new friend. Both scenarios are really tough, but I have a little advice that I think might be helpful for dealing with either.

Some people are incredibly great at reading others, but they still can’t possibly have a completely foolproof system at knowing what other people are thinking. One person is different from the next, so the best way to know for sure how someone feels about you is by having an open conversation and asking them.

This does get tough, though, because you don’t want to be creepy about it or come on too strong. There’s a time and place for conversations like this, and having one with someone you don’t know very well will almost surely scare them off.

A good rule of thumb could be that if you feel like someone is taking over your entire dating life — without being exclusive with them — you might want to take the leap and ask what they’re thinking about your relationship. You definitely don’t want to waste a ton of time on someone who isn’t ready to be exclusive if that’s what you’re looking for, but it also does takes some time to build a foundation and get to know someone before jumping into a relationship. Next week I am going to be talking a little bit about how to determine whether or not the person you like could be worth pursuing, and how to think with your brain even when your emotions try to take the lead.

sign.png

Today’s lesson: Leave signs where they belong — on highways, hiking trails, and at subway systems. Start taking what people say — or don’t say — at face value and don’t let others play games with your heart. Communication is certainly key in a healthy relationship, so it is important that you don’t find yourself feeling like you’re constantly left in the dark with someone you like because they are sending mixed signals.

Once you take your power back you begin to realize that you may not be able to control whether or not your crush likes you, but you can control how you respond to the way he treats you in a way you’re proud of. If he doesn’t ever call or text you first to make plans, maybe it’s time you go radiosilent and spend that time you used to think about him meeting new people — until you find someone who realizes what a great catch you are and does call you to make plans!


IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: I’M MOVING!

In just a couple of weeks I will no longer be on this website. My dating life changed a loooong time ago, so I am finally taking the time to make some changes that reflect this and moving my site to KristaLauren.com (As I have mentioned before I would have done this a lot sooner, but I am technologically challenged and 10 times out of 10 prefer to write instead of work on my site). Make sure you sign up to receive emails for my posts, like my Facebook page, or bookmark my new site if you want to stay a part of my Single in The Suburbs family. 🙂

7 thoughts on “Leave Signs Where They Belong

  1. Well, when you’re no longer single, it’s probably good to change that “sign”….lol
    I’m sure the new site will be just as awesome as this one and I’m looking forward to that.

    Now, for the topic at hand…
    I always call this situation “The Talk” – the conversation that defines the relationship. Granted, The Talk usually happens long after you’ve already figured out someone is into you, but it is just as important and relevant as figuring it all out. I find that I am HORRIBLE at figuring out if someone likes me and I prefer big pink neon signs announcing it, “Hey, I like you an awful lot!” But that’s just me, because I know there are plenty how figure it out way better than I do. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha yes it’s about time! Thank you so much! 🙂

      And haha I love the way you look at “The Talk.” I used to be SO awful at telling whether or not people were into me; somehow I’ve gotten better in the past few years. (So I totally get the big pink neon sign lol!!)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh it’s bad…I literally have to be told we’re together or not…or I have to ask the question, “Sooo….does that kiss we just had have any meaning behind it? Does this mean we’re getting married next week?”
        Just kidding, of course…lol

        Liked by 1 person

  2. The talk is one of the most dreaded parts of dating but it is so necessary. You really cannot just assume that you are on the same page with someone. It’s a scary conversation to start but I suggest getting it over with sooner rather than later.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah I definitely think that’s good advice! Sooner rather than later is smart so you don’t waste your time on something that isn’t going anywhere. It’s so nice to see you on WordPress again; I’m gonna have to go check your blog to see if you’ve posted lately! 🙂

      Like

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