Dear John,

Have you ever heard Taylor Swift’s song, Dear John?

It’s exhausting.

“Long were the nights when
My days once revolved around you.
Counting my footsteps,
Praying the floor won’t fall through — again.”

What makes people so blinded when it comes to love? I give myself an excuse for my first love, but I don’t have any other free passes I want to use. One thing I do firmly believe in is living life without regrets hanging over your head. There isn’t anything I can do about my past, but there sure is a lot I can do to make my future the way I want it to be.

I’ve made so many mistakes, but I’ve learned from them. This blog was created not only to share funny stories in hopes of connecting with my readers and making people laugh, but I was also inspired by my past experiences to share all of the knowledge I have collected about relationships along the way.

A major lesson I learned was that actions speak so much louder than words. You realize how crazy this is for an English student to say, right? Like, my entire job in graduate school is simply using a bunch of words.

It’s so true, though. I had a point in my life where I was so easily comforted by just a little bit of sweet talking. Empty promises rolled off his lips like sweet honey, and I was happy with anything I could get. It was these minuscule moments that mattered to me — I just wanted reassurance in the present that we would be okay. Even if it was just for the day.

Saying one thing and never having the actions to match is a wonderful way to be a master manipulator. Whether this is intentional behavior or one’s nature I’m not really certain, but I am sure that people like this do not make comfortable lovers. Your security is very short-lived and you’ll never be able to get off the roller coaster of emotions that come along with this kind of love. One second you feel high and on top of the world, the next you’re ready to throw up from the shooting adrenaline that is anxiety.

Imagine being on an enormous roller coaster for months. The first few times are fun, new, and exciting. You close your eyes and feel the wind brush against your skin for the first time; your heart is racing faster than it ever had before. You’re thrilled at this new experience and feel like you want to just keep spinning around and around — until you realize that the ride is making you sick. Suddenly you are so twisted about that you don’t know which way is up, and you want to get off… You’re so addicted to the high that is causing your pain, though, that you don’t want to get off. The thought of leaving this thing you once held so dear is terrifying — it’s even scarier knowing you can never get back on this ride again if you give it up. So you stay on and continue to get sicker every second you’re on the wild ride. You completely forget that there are other ones that may not be as much of a thrill, but would never in a million years make you so ill. Whether or not you ever choose to get off is up to you, but I ended up deciding that instead of so many fast ups and downs, I wanted to choose something that would gently hold me, make me feel comfortable, and rock me to sleep when I was tired, rather than constantly jerking me around.

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Today’s lesson: If someone truly cares, they will not only tell you, but show you with actions. If an English student is telling you that she believes actions speak louder than words, it’s probably true. There’s a reason sayings like this are cliche — it’s because they really are tried and true.

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