Hope For The Brokenhearted

You know what completely blows my mind?

How little I think of my exes. Especially the ones who were in my life for a very long time.

Gosh, I remember before we broke up and I knew it was coming how devastated I felt. I began to grieve the loss of our relationship before it was even over.

One night in particular we went to a playground at my alma matter. This was “our spot,” and I absolutely loved the nights we spent sitting on the swings, gazing at the stars, and talking about our future together when we had been dating awhile. I remember those nights so vividly. I remember the songs we’d play over and over again, and I remember the feeling I got in the pit of my stomach when he finally told me what his future was going to look like — whether or not I was going to be a part of his plan was up to me, but there was no room for compromise.

I remember storming off in tears, and how it felt to not be chased after or the thing that he wanted more than anything else in life anymore. That was the exact moment I realized I wasn’t a priority. I remember the dozens of conversations that followed — and giving away whatever dignity I had left in the relationship to chase this boy anywhere his heart desired, even though his dreams weren’t remotely close to my own.

Somehow after months of chasing him around and losing battle after battle, we broke up. Something that I never would have known back then is that my heart was more broken when we were together than after we broke up. I would have been surprised to know that my heart could heal and feel whole again without him. I didn’t need “the love of my life” to feel like a complete person (And later I would find out that he was most definitely not the person I would love most in this world. Not even close.). I could have never imagined that the man who once absolutely consumed my mind — the very same guy I was terrified to break up with — rarely crosses it anymore. Healing is such a beautiful thing.

The reason I decided to write a little blurb about this today was because I realized that there are people who are in this exact situation today. There are people who are stuck in depressing, unfair, selfish relationships, who don’t know how to leave. Leaving someone is one of the scariest things you can do; I get it. Once they’re gone you may never get them back, but sometimes that is the most wonderful thing that will ever happen to you. Don’t stay in a relationship just because you’re scared that something great won’t happen to you twice. Even if you lose an amazing person for whatever reason, I promise you that there are other people in this enormous world who will be a great fit for you too.

It gives me chills to think that if I hadn’t broken up with my ex I may not have met someone I think is one of the most amazing people in the world. Literally, if we had held on for another month or two like I had wanted, I wouldn’t have ever met Robert.

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Today’s lesson: If you’re one of those people in a relationship you just know is harmful don’t give him another second of your time. Rip it off like a band-aid! It will hurt like hell, but you will get over it and you will be happy again. One day you’ll see something that reminds you of him and wonder how long it’s been since you last thought of him. You’ll realize that instead of invoking a painful thought, it has just become a memory of someone who used to be in your life. That, my friend, is the beauty of moving on.

10 thoughts on “Hope For The Brokenhearted

  1. Shiva Malekopmath says:

    I vote for everything that is written here. Yes it is a hope. Excellent title.
    Right now on my front page is the same subject on which I have quoted. The title is ‘ Love and Hate’ you may also read the comments there. I am happy with the discussions going on there, you may please contribute your might to it.
    Yes again, there is always another person waiting for YOU.
    Regards,

    Liked by 1 person

  2. eshinalidoreen says:

    Beautiful post here. Allow me to share my story a bit.
    Am going through the same thing. I was scared to leave a relationship. I think he was too because he knew he would hurt me..which he did anyways. He would always tell me hurtful words just for me to leave…For a while, he would apologize after he said he hurtful things, and I would forgive him and we are back on it again. My friends and family, would see me cry all day, see me depressed and just not eating at times because of thoughts of how someone you loved for 2 years can just change like that. No matter how much, i complained about the abuses and the harsh talk, he would say ‘i promise you I will not do it again’ but again, but before the day would end, he would throw abuses at me…It was so painful, that the depression I went through or still going through was too much. I closed my eyes one day before bed and got to my knees and asked God to give me the strength to move on. This guy was ruining me, he was taking a part of me that I wasn’t aware of. He was emotionally abusing me that sometimes I thought I was what he was abusing me…God gave me the strength and I was able to just tell him off..after 2years. God knows how much tears I shade after the 1 year. Sooooo much. I did love him but I guess he was not ready for a commitment. “if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was your. If not, there’s a reason why it was in your path;….that was the motto I keep telling myself to move on. Remember, all this happened last month. Am having such a hard time!!! A very hard time..

    how long does the healing take? I wish it was immediately!

    Liked by 2 people

    • singleinthesuburbs01 says:

      I’m so sorry to hear all of that! I know how hard a relationship like that is, but at the end of the day life is so much better single than with the wrong person. I wish I could tell you how long it takes your heart to heal from a relationship, but I think it can be very different from person to person. I do know, though, that I thought I would never be happy again and I had such a hard time handling things at the time, but now I feel like it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. It’s hard to trust God in the moment, but I’m sharing my story to give others hope because I think it is easier knowing that other people can get through something tough that you’re dealing with. I’m not a naturally strong or unique person, which is why I know that if I can get over a really smashed heart you totally can too. ❤ I'll be praying for you and am always around if you need to talk! Take care and hang in there. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. fathergodlovesyou says:

    People come into our lives for a season because there is something you may need to teach them, a reason for something they have to teach you and then the relationship comes to an end through no fault of yours and then one for a lifetime which is the one you’re meant to be with. Thanks for sharing. God bless ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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