“Bean” The Marine

Apparently I have a thing for military guys — noted.

When I first started dating again after my ex and I broke up I realized quickly how many people you don’t click with online. Whether it’s because you have different morals or nothing in common personality-wise, I learned that although talking to a bunch of guys was a lot of fun, it took some work to find people who might have a chance at working out for a second date.

I started off my dating ventures giving a lot of people very different than me a chance. I think you can learn a lot from people who aren’t like you, so I enjoyed meeting people from all different walks of life. After being on a handful of first dates that didn’t materialize into anything I realized I wanted to go out with someone who was more or less on the same page as me.

Then I met “Bean.” Obviously I changed the name and won’t mention where we met, but his name was something that rhymes with “Bean.” You’re smart– you can figure it out. πŸ˜‰

Bean was smart, witty, loved dogs, and yes — he was hot.

We had a deeper connection than most of my other online conversations, and I was actually really excited about going on a date with him. I daydreamed about going on a date with Bean and felt like regardless of what happened after, it would be nice to have a really good first date with someone. And sparks! It can be difficult to tell whether or not you’ll have chemistry with someone you’re chatting with through a computer screen, but I had a good feeling about this one.

As we were talking about our favorite books — we happened to have a few in common — he asked me for my number. Finally! I thought. It’s about time he asked me out!

Another thing that drew me in to this mysterious marine was that he didn’t just jump right on asking me out. He made me wait a little, which is actually quite intriguing. Kind of like a first kiss, it’s nice letting the anticipation build up a little bit before going in for the kill.*

I sent him my number and waited for the text… And waited. And waited.

What the heck? It had been a few days since our last contact, and it was becoming pretty clear that Bean wasn’t going to be messaging me.

At first I was really disappointed. This guy had been one of the first people who really got me excited about a first date. Then I realized a few things. First, I didn’t really know this guy. The things I knew about him were:

  1. He was cute
  2. He had good taste in books
  3. He was a Marine
  4. He had good grammar

That was about it. Sure I had a little crush and that was okay, but it was more of a Theo James kind of crush — because let’s be real, I think I tricked myself into thinking this guy was “such a great match” because he was someone I thought was super-attractive.

I don’t know what happened to Bean. I’ve seen him on a few different dating apps, but haven’t tried to pursue that any further. We weren’t a match, he never texted me, and you know what? That’s just fine. There are a million other fish in the sea.

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*Guys, don’t take this as a tip to make a girl work too hard for you, though — that’s not a good idea either, as we’ll just move on if we think a guy is uninterested. There is a very precise art to playing “the waiting game,” and I don’t want you to miss a shot with someone you really like because you’re playing games with her. This is more of a “playing it cool” technique.

 

8 thoughts on ““Bean” The Marine

  1. It’s like you were reading my thoughts about this week! haha. The waiting game is such an unfortunate part of this whole thing, I’ve been having a similar experience with a crush, except I actually see him somewhat frequently. So the next time I run into him should be interesting!

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    1. Ugh, I hate that. You’ll have to keep me posted on how it all goes, but if he doesn’t hurry up and ask you out it’s totally his loss and some other lucky fella’s gain!! I ended up meeting someone I liked a billion times more just a few weeks after this guy ghosted me, so it all worked out for the best. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve been told by multiple people that know this guy really well that he’s super shy and kind of awkward as far as dating is concerned, which is ridiculous because he’s gorgeous. But I had asked to hang out this week and he never answered soooo..I take that as a hint, ha. Unless he’s just super awkward about it, but that isn’t the vibe I’m getting, unfortunately.

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      2. Hmm that is tough then! I have definitely known guys who like girls but are too afraid to go out with them. -_- Regardless though, it seems like you’re being really smart and mature about everything; I’m sure if he doesn’t ask you out soon another wonderful guy is right around the corner. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh I hate when things like that happen. I’ve dealt with those sitations where I spoke with someone for awhile and then we finally exchange numbers and after that it’s nothing. It’s even more frustrating when you do talk a little bit through text but they just NEVER ask to hang out. You don’t wanna ask a girl right away to meet up but you also need to ask eventually.

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