In The Zone

One of the first dates I went on when I was single again was with a gentleman one of my best friends set me up with. She told him I was “recently single,” and ready to start casually dating.

Our date went really well — we went out for coffee and shared some laughs. It went so well, in fact, that we decided to hang out longer and get lunch afterwards.

The lunch portion of the date was nice and we enjoyed more conversation outside on a beautiful day. We walked around an outdoor shopping center and made it our mission to pet twenty dogs while we were there. We didn’t quite reach our goal, but I had a nice time regardless.

I finally got dropped off at home, thanked my date for a nice time, and didn’t give the event too much thought — until I realized a few days later that he hadn’t texted me. I hadn’t been on many dates then, so wasn’t sure whether or not he was “supposed to” reach out so soon or not. The other two guys I had been out with had texted that same evening saying that they had a nice time with me, but this fellow was radio silent.

I decided to give it a few weeks and just see if he would reach out again.

He didn’t.

I had genuinely enjoyed our day together and I wasn’t devastated about not being asked on a second date, but I thought that he and I would make good friends — we both like pranks, have a similar sense of humor, and are kind of sassy (And the guy equivalent of sassy, whatever the heck that is), so I decided to text him. I said something along the lines of,

“So it’s totally fine if you aren’t into going on another date, but I had a great time with you last week and would love to be friends if you’d like to hang out again!”

He didn’t reply for a day or two, then finally just said something like, “I am sure I’ll see you around sometime.”

Yep. This guy doesn’t ever want to hang out.

At first I was a bit taken aback; I had never really had to deal with rejection in the dating world before that, and I certainly haven’t ever had anyone tell me they didn’t want to be friends (I could definitely read between the lines).

I realized after all of this that obviously most of the guys I see will not work out. I just need one of them to eventually stick. Just one! I’d say we all have pretty great odds of that happening.

Today’s lesson:  Don’t get too hung up on people who aren’t into you. This goes both ways; you won’t want to be with the majority of people you meet either, and that just makes it even more special when you do find someone you are crazy about who feels the same way about you.

Do you think it’s weird to ask someone you went on one date with if they want to be friends? This brings the age old question to surface: Can guys and girls be just friends? I would answer yes, but have heard it argued both ways.

5 thoughts on “In The Zone

  1. cassidyh says:

    I don’t think it’s weird to ask if they want to be friends, but I probably wouldn’t do it. I have enough friends hahah.

    Another question though.. is it weird to ask like, WHY when someone isn’t into you?

    Liked by 1 person

    • singleinthesuburbs01 says:

      Haha yeah, I’ve had a few people who have been cool with being friends after, but some say that exact same thing. Regardless I always appreciate honesty!

      I wrote about that one day, but I really don’t think it’s always something that has to do with you when you don’t get asked on a second date. There are so many factors that come into play, that you almost just have to get up, brush yourself off and try again. Dating is so hilariously confusing, though!

      Like

  2. Am I Thirty? says:

    I went on a date with a guy recently. The date went well cause we got along but I was feeling it romantically. After it was pretty clear that a second date wouldn’t happen, he reached out to me and asked if we could be friends. I agreed to being friends because I genuinely liked him as a person. We do talk occasionally but it’s really hard to maintain that friendship when someone was interested in a possible romantic relationship.

    Like

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